You're not losing time

For those who feel behind for not knowing what they want

I've known what I wanted for my life since I was probably 13 years old. I had a very clear picture of what my career would look like, and I remember counting down the days until I became an “adult” so that I could finally start working and going on the path the I was so sure of and was already living in my head.

I wanted to work in Entertainment, more specific in the Music Industry, as a PR. And so I started pursuing that dream. I studied PR in college, won a program to study Entertainment and Music Industry abroad. I had side projects to build up the skills I needed. I had the will, the plan, the determination. Everything was going as expected.

Until it wasn't.

When I came back from my study abroad to my hometown in Brazil that really had no market for what I wanted to do, I joined a small tech company. Not because I wanted to or because I ever dreamed of working in tech, but because that's where I was able to find a job.

I was there for almost 3 years, until I turned 22 and had a mini life crisis. I felt like I was losing time, and at that point I wasn't sure anymore if my initial plan continued to be my dream, but I also wasn't settling with the idea of working in tech.

If you're rolling your eyes to the idea of a 22 year old thinking “they're losing time” – trust me, I am too and will address that in a second.

This mini life crisis was the best thing that happened to me – staying in my hometown was never an option in my mind, and this moment prompted me to start looking for a life change. If I didn’t know what I wanted, I might as well go try to figure out.

So I got an opportunity to move to Colombia, a country I had never been before, to work for another tech company. Without hesitating, I moved to Bogotá, after all I asked life for a big change and there it was.

This move was the best thing that could have happened in my life. At 23 years old, I was making a living for myself in another country, speaking my third language, helping build a company's foreign operations from the ground up. There I met my fiancé Geoff, some of my best friends, and got to know myself in a way that I never had before.

From there, I moved jobs and countries again. Now I live in the U.S, still working in tech, and the initial plan has completely (or really, partially) fallen into pieces.

To whoever is reading this, I understand it might sound like all the dots have been connected, but they haven't. It's actually quite the opposite – I still have more questions than answers, but after a while, I've finally learned to feel at home in the uncertainty.

For someone who always thought they knew what they wanted, the moment that I started questioning it all, my sense of identity was at risk. And dealing with that particular piece, with the thought that maybe the plan that I had for myself since a very young age was probably not going to happen – or worse, I might not even want that anymore, was a process of its own.

Beyond that, I really had to finally understand that life is not linear (not for me, not for anybody). The more I talk to people who I look up to, the more I realize that their lives have also taken so many turns and plot twists. At the surface and from the outside, it seems like it was all part of a plan, easy and frictionless. Not the case.

The only certainty of life (other than death) is movement. It's change.

Throughout these movements (which were not always pleasant and happy), I met the love of my life, got to know more about myself and what I truly value. I have matured, which in turn has helped me to look at my potentials and priorities in a completely different way. My time wasn't lost, it was invested.

So don't think – at 22, 30, 40, whatever age, that you're losing time. The only time that's lost is the time that's not invested in our own lives.

We waste time if we let life pass by with no awareness, without actively engaging with it. Without claiming our roles of co-creators and being accountable for whatever comes our way.

So focus on your own journey, live life with the eyes open, live intentionally, and let life surprise you.

Last but not least, appreciate the questions – answers change, life changes, and we have to be prepared to change with it.